Monthly Archives: February 2009

Pootie Tang

Pootie too good! Pootie too good!

Pootie too good! Pootie too good!


ooh, biggie shorty,
cole me on the panny sty.
also, robert vaughn.

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Ninja Champion

ninja-champion

the ninja weapons:
balancing plates, umbrellas…
these breasts are poison!


Spoilers on – Don’t click if you don’t want to know who the champion of the ninjas is!

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High Kicks

high_kicks

revenge – 90’s style!
sandy has secret weapon:
she knows aerobics

Normally, this is where we’d include a video clip – the trailer, a montage, or a pig falling off a building. However, a dillegent search of YouTube turned up nothing. No video available! At all! The VHS cover (above) doesn’t even look real. How can this be? This treasure was found in a DVD bundle called “Savage Sisters”, featuring the classics “TNT Jackson” and “Get Christie Love!” (“You under arrest, sugah!”). This aerobicspoitation flick is the one that got away.

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Vampires: Los Muertos

there's also a gun called miss piggy.  and telepathy.

there's also a gun called miss piggy. and telepathy.

hey! jon bon jovi!
and is that eddie winsow?
better than james woods.


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[site news] 50!

Congratulations to the staff and crew of “24 Hours to Midnight” for completing our first 50 posts.

That’s 850 syllables of hate mail/love letters, addressed to the people that have provided us with an endless deluge of trash entertainment.

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John Carpenter’s Vampires

vampires

vampires and dick jokes,
and it stars daniel baldwin:
no one’s fave baldwin

Warning: Somewhat NSFW

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Ginger Snaps

Hungry like the giant plastic rat!

Hungry like the giant plastic rat!

Woo hoo, sister love!
It’s menstruation!
No wait–it’s werewolves.

[Note the power walk.]

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

mortal-kombat-annihilation

bad effects, worse puns,
and such tremendous acting.
these are special times

Note: This is, without a doubt, my #1 favourite bad movie of all time. It’s relentlessly, screamingly bad.

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Pulse 3: Invasion

The Internet has once again forsaken humanity.
The Internet has once again forsaken humanity.

In this brave new world
the Internet is evil.
So is Rider Strong

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The Keep

the-keep2

Sir Ian McKellen,
What was this about? Nazis?
Ghosts? Woah! Rape by fog!