Diary of the Dead

Beware: Zombie Clown.

Skinny was our fav.
All he wanted was a bath.
And now he is gone.

Bug

Imaginary bugs are not scary.

Ashley Judd is a
super-mother-bug. What the
hell is Morgellon?

Bonus haiku:

This wasn’t scary.
Oh, it’s about a disease.
Fuck you, Ashley Judd.

Dead Alive

A True Classic

An ear in pudding.
The rat monkey reinflates.
Peter Jackson? Wow.

Death Machine

It must be really hungry, then.

A bleak future world
The year: 2003
Lame death by head bang

The Breed

Women take on the characteristics of dogs. So progressive.

Michelle Rodriguez
A different character? No.
Get some acting skills.

(This was actually pretty scary: the dogs are real.)

Witchboard 3: The Possession

The movie that taught me the word planchette.

Possession obsessed.
Don’t get sucked through the planchette!
Another bag shot.

Xtro II: The Second Encounter

Part alien. Part predator. Completely terrible sequel.

Second encounter
But not the same alien
Cut your hair, be-otch

Bad Girls From Valley High

You look older than madonna... Because you're older than madonna.

Farting sound effects.
Slow it down or speed it up
to do the voices.

Bonus Haiku:

Zoom in on T-Rex.
Found a face in her wrinkles.
These girls aren’t eighteen.

Pieces a.k.a. Mil gritos tiene la noche

Puzzle pieces and pieces of bodies. Get it? It's clever.

Bad dubbing and sound.
Zoom in on the bag shot, please.
“You baaaastaaaard! Baaaastaaaard!”

Lost Boys: The Tribe

Never grow old. Never die. Never know fear again. Never watch this movie again.

Angus Sutherland.
Linen shirt and leather pants.
Score! Has two Coreys.