Monthly Archives: March 2009

Degrees: #2

This one starts with boylorne’s ladyfriend.

ladyfriend’s cousin is Kenneth Mitchell.

Good genes.

Good genes.

He starred in the critically acclaimed (and cancelled) CBS show “Jericho”. He also appeared in the comedic sports romp, “Tennis, Anyone…?” starring Donal Logue.

Romp.

Romp.

Donal Logue was in “Blade” with Stephen Dorff.

This guy.

This guy.

Stephen Dorff was in “Alone in the Dark”…

Ugh fest.

Ugh fest.

…which was directed by Uwe Boll.

THIS guy.

THIS guy.

Alternate route:
ladyfriend (cousin) Kenneth Mitchell (an episode of “The Ghost Whisperer”) Jennifer Love Hewitt (“Party of Five”) Matthew Fox (“Lost”) Michelle Rodriguez (“BloodRayne”) Uwe Boll.

Classy route:
ladyfriend (cousin) Kenneth Mitchell (“The Recruit”) Al Pacino (“Donnie Brasco”) Michael Madsen (“BloodRayne”) Uwe Boll

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Hatchet for the Honeymoon AKA Il Rosso segno della follia

so many creepy bride mannequins

so many creepy bride mannequins

guy with the dead wife,
why do you keep killing brides?
Oedipus complex.

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Cutthroat Island

This movie is so bad for so long it will make you want to cut your throat

This movie is so bad for so long it will make you want to cut your throat

Dear Geena Davis:
Could you please barrel through a
whole building for us?

Sorry, this wouldn’t let me embed, but the link is DEFINITELY worth the trouble.

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Class of 1984

everyone in this movie is amazing.  except for alex p. keaton.

everyone in this movie is amazing. except for alex p. keaton.

hey! teacher teacher,
your pregnant wife gets gang-raped,
look! michael j. fox!

this movie is actually amazing. you can watch it all on youtube.

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Scarecrow Slayer

apparently, this is a sequel?

apparently, this is a sequel?

hey there! frat douchebags!
don’t steal that from tony todd,
he’s the candyman!

mary better run,
ROTC can’t stop it,
awesome! scarecrow fight!

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Curse of the Doll People AKA Muñecos Infernales

tiny hands! disco balls! creepy!

tiny hands! disco balls! creepy!

archaeologists,
don’t be stealing sacred dolls,
dramatic eye zoom

this is available on youtube.

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Degrees: David Boreanaz, Tara Reid, and Uwe Boll

At a recent staff meeting, Boylorne discovered a connection to acclaimed film-maker, Uwe Boll.

One degree from Boylorne

Colin Berry: One degree from Boylorne

This young man was BoyLorne’s roommate for a few short days.

Two degrees from Boylorne

David Boreanaz: Two degrees from Boylorne

Berry starred alongside Boreanaz in “These Girls”.

Three degrees from Boylorne

Tara Reid: Three degrees from Boylorne

Boreanaz was in “The Crow: Wicked Prayer” with Reid.

Four degrees from Boylorne

Uwe Boll: Four degrees from Boylorne

Reid starred in “Alone in the Dark”, directed by Boll.

Haiku:
It’s a new feature,
degrees of separation.
We hope you enjoy!

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Craft Corner: Gigli cross-stitch pattern

giglicrossstitch

Makes a cozy addition to your kitchen, guest bedroom, or darkest nightmares.

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Southland Tales

southland-tales

to enjoy this film:
ignore everything, except
buffy and the rock

it’s a bloated mess.
we want less neo-marxism,
more teen horniness.

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Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies

do you have my copy of this? i wants it back.

do you have my copy of this? i wants it back.

well i’ve never seen
someone fuck themselves up the
ass before. A+

WARNING?: NSFW?

(the A+ is sarcastic, this movie is hilariously bad)

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