Daily Archives: August 6, 2009

Unwatchable: Boat Trip

Here at “24 Hours to Midnight: The Blog!”, it is our ongoing mission to raise awareness of bad movies. However, every once in a while, there is a movie so maddening, so insanely bad, that we have to hit the eject button on our long-suffering VCR before we lose all grip on reality.

One such film: Boat Trip, starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horatio Sanz. They sign up for a cruise, only to find out it’s a gay cruise for gays!

No gays here!

No gays here!

Direction of this trainwreck is courtesy of writer Mort Nathan — a man who’s greatest contribution to the world has been penning the lyrics to the “Miami” song from that one episode of “Golden Girls”.

Mort Nathan’s co-writer here is William Bigelow– a man who’s only previous writing credit on a film is “Frozen with Fear”. FYI – It’s tag line is: “She hides behind a door of steel. He hides behind an emotional wall. Can their passion set them free?”. Indeed!

So, Cuba ends up in drag. Horatio is tricked into thinking he’s gay.
They both find a new best friend in a gay, and the gay teaches them that gay people aren’t what they think. Horatio Sanz accidentally shoots down a helicopter full of Swedish bikini models (including former Maxim covergirl, Victoria Silvstedt), who land on the boat. Thank the lord, they’ve won’t catch gay after all! Heterosexuality is saved!

Can’t watch. Won’t watch.

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