Daily Archives: October 3, 2009

Hot Dog Cops

CAPTION HERE

ACCORDING TO THE INTERNET, HOT DOG COPS IS NOT A MOVIE. IF ONLY THAT WERE TRUE.......

vice squad cops bust pros
best part: dog smokes cigarette
just hit fast forward

this is seriously the only link for this movie on the internet:

http://www.locatetv.com/movie/hot-dog-cops/994396

it was one of the worst things we’ve ever seen, so honestly i am not surprised.

Update: Hot Dog Cops (1980) is also known as “Cops and Other Lovers”, “Under the Cover Cops”, and “Les chiens chauds”. It features noted porn star Harry Reems as hard-nosed, straight-laced police officer, Mr. Clean. It also features the Montreal Expos beloved mascot, Youppi. In it’s thrilling climax, the Hot Dog Cops sneak into a private party and brutalize a bunch of homos. Youppi!

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[Hall of Fame] Kerr Smith

Lotta shine. Lotta forehead.

Lotta shine. Lotta forehead.

Today, we induct Kerr Smith into the “24 Hours to Midnight” Hall of Fame.

Kerr Smith, who rose to fame by acting as a gay on the WB’s Dawson’s Creek, has now been featured on “24 Hours to Midnight: The Blog!” three times:  Final DestinationMy Bloody Valentine 3D, and The Forsaken. Wow – a horror franchise, a horror remake, and 1990s vampires. Good work, Kerr. You’re a Hall of Famer, for sure!

p.s. His middle name is Van Cleve.

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Masterblaster

Warning: This movie is not about dirty men using tiny women as handguns.

Warning: This movie is not about dirty men using tiny women as firearms.

killer needs a theme.
paintball tournament, why not?
oh god, just shoot me.

Major spoilers: This clip shows the big reveal of the film (because you’re totally going to track this movie down and watch it).

This movie is like Discount Stock Character Warehouse: Along with the people featured in the clip (broody biker, italian hitman, black guy, perky cop, prissy bitch, racist hillbillies, mysterious asian, crazy latino) there’s scholarly gent, huffy actor, troubled veteran, cocky rock star, and karate lady (!!).

The twist is needlessly complicated — a killer with a secret connection to the hero kills scores of innocent people in thematic, dramatic ways before coming at the main target directly (like Urban Legend) and a climactic transformation of the villain from mild-mannered civilian to completely off-the-rails sociopath (also like Urban Legend, where Rebecca Gayheart’s hair grows three times its normal size).

Choice quote:
Rowdy redneck: Hey baby, you gonna come to the bar with me?
Prissy bitch: Will they serve Dom Pérignon?
Rowdy redneck: Sheee-it, they’ll serve anybody!

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