No tattooed cat lady or pet dragon in this film.

post-Scream, features teens.
you make self-aware comments.
do you know you suck?

When a movie is written and directed by the same person, it’s a sometimes a good indicator of the quality of film you’re watching. However, when the writer/director has a cameo in the first half hour and moons the camera, then you have a very good indicator of the quality of film you’re watching.

To keep our review fair and unbiased, here’s a user comment from imdb: “The Shower with acid in it is the best death i think because you think it could happen to you in real life, (well all the deaths can) but this 1 the most. Id give an 8/10”.

Here in Kolobos star Amy Weber’s hot track, “Ghost”, she’s been ‘tuned within an inch of her life. And there’s helpful subtitles to follow along with the lyrics! I personally recommend you watch for the photograph at the 0:30 mark. Jowly!

I need more synth handclaps!

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4 thoughts on “Kolobos

  1. Amy Weber is a singer!?! Wow, that’s news to me. But then again what model isn’t I guess.

  2. Dan says:

    There was an old movie site called YMDB where you could list your top 20 and bottom 20 movies. I remember putting this and another woeful horror film called Wendigo in my bottom-dwellers list. The annoying thing is – I actually bought this movie on DVD…that’s the drawback of bargain-priced impulse buys.

  3. 24hourstomidnight says:

    ugh, wendigo is so terrible!!! every time there is a movie about a wendigo i get so excited about it, and it’s always the worst, with the exception of ravenous. that movie is good.

  4. Mr. Ed says:

    Kolobos – I’m extremely annoyed just by saying that name out loud.

    “Post-scream, features teens” however is great, and rolls right off the tongue. That’s what they should’ve named the movie, not Kolobos.

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