Come on, Rider Strong!
How many times have you been
post-apocalypsed?
Come on, Rider Strong!
How many times have you been
post-apocalypsed?
if you want to see
keanu dance to dragula,
watch this movie
jacket, vest, shorts, shirt,
overalls, hat, scrunchie, skirt
a sea of denim
This movie would make an excellent drinking game, and you only need one rule: drink every time you seen something denim. People in this film certainly love that rugged cotton textile. Before seeing this movie, we didn’t know that denim blazers existed. Now we do.
First, let’s get the synopsis out of the way:
“She may not be the moral standard of the town, but this sexy lady is a woman ready to fight for what she believes in. When confronted with the fight of her life, she faces the town leaders head on and forces them to take note of their prejudices; proving to all that being sexy is no crime.”
PHEW. OK. Now, what IS the scandal? Well, Raquel finds out that her teen daughter’s history teacher is is being taught to hate Jews. However, their tiny town hates skanks more than Nazis, so they try to burn down her house.
Here’s some important math:
Can’t get enough of Raquel and her rhythmic movements? Hair you go:
walk slow as house burns
and look like a sad lady.
re-apply lipstick
Ohhh… so many problems with this one. Here’s a few highlights:
On the upside, it’s got Danny Trejo (MACHETE!) and our best girl, Tara Reid!
I thought the biggest problem was Edward Furlong, who ends up looking more than a little effeminate after he takes a Sharpie to his face. The look he’s going for is “grim spectre of death” but it’s more like “bay goth teen who took a Sharpie to his face while watching the first Crow movie in their room on VHS”.
Personally, Edward Furlong as The Crow reminded me of those Living Dead Dolls from Hot Topic:
newman frees dinos
“chaotician” loses shirt
hold on to yer butts
80’s beach movie
3 old pervs pay to meet chicks
jacuz-arooski
when i first heard about this movie on gilmore girls, i knew i had to watch it. now i am seriously questioning their taste level. a beach “stud” who is down on his luck is “hired” by three older gentlemen to help them meet “hardbodies,” which are essentially hot girls who hang out at the beach. this movie features courtney gains (the burbs, children of the corn, can’t buy me love) as the beach studs best friend, rag, and a bunch of ladies that were probably featured in a men’s magazine at some point in their lives as this was originally a playboy movie, and then released as a comedy. on the plus side, there is a hilarious shopping mall musical montage, and a pretty awesome girl band called….Hardbodies (VIXEN!!!!!). essentially, if you like boobs and really cheesy comedy, you will like this movie.
missionary man: loves beating up dudes with garbage cans. co-starring someone who was on one episode of the new melrose place.
ride your motor bike
quote scripture, beat up bad guys
“do” the widow. yawn.
Seriously, for a movie that had so much going for it, I have no idea how it turned out so terribly. There were explosions, tequila shots, crooked cops, motorcycles, vengeance and DOLPH LUNDGREN, and still this put me to sleep. Maybe it was just too cliche ridden to hold my attention. The highlight by far was this preview:
ZOMBIE STRIPPERS!!!!!!!
boylorne: Dolph Lundgren is a man of many talents. Check this out (and wait for 1:15… AND 1:30):