Monthly Archives: May 2010

Extraordinary Measures

harrison ford's balls in a jelly jar.

science fights! men cry!
brendan fraser, knock it off!
giant tears cause floods.

a mild suggestive scene.

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[Hall of Fame] Cynthia Rothrock

Cynthia_Rothrock

The leading lady of our namesake (and very first blog post) has finally made it to our Hall of Fame. Cynthia has starred in three 24hrs2midnight classics (24 Hours to Midnight, Lady Dragon, Outside the Law) and many more. The more we learn about Cynthia, the more we like her. Let us educate you:

1. From 1981 to 1985, she was the undefeated World Karate Champion in both forms and weapon competition (that’s a unisex title, meaning she beat out women and men for it).

2. She is proficient in the use of chain whip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqMxcUokXQo), bo staff, Chinese double broadswords, iron fan, and hook swords. If you can handle the techno, this clip is highly awesome:

3. The character Sonya Blade (“Mortal Kombat”) was based on Cynthia Rothrock.

Note: If you have been identified as a friend or loved one of Cynthia Rothrock, then you have until the end of the opening credits to put your affairs in order, because you’re about to die. Cyn has a habit of going on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge brought on by the death of a loved one. For example, Cynthia’s father (“China O’Brien”), her husbands (“24 Hours to Midnight”, “Lady Dragon”, “Lady Dragon II”), fiancees (“Guardian Angel”, “Outside the Law”), and sisters (“Undefeatable”, “Sworn to Justice”) all get murdered by the end of the first act. She’s a tough lady to love.

Oh hey, she was on “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys”:

cynthia rothrock

AWESOME!

Official website: http://www.cynthiarothrock.org/

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Outside the Law (2002)

cynthia rothrock outside the law

vengeance time again?
cynthia knows what to do:
wear wigs! kick faces!

Here, our patron saint wanders into town and manages to wind up in more trouble than she bargained for. She’s like a face-kicking version of “The Littlest Hobo”.

I have to point out the tagline here: “When it comes to justice, she knows all the moves”. What does that mean? Does justice have moves??

FYI – While writing this entry, I googled “what happened in the last episode of the littlest hobo?”. Answer: He disarms a undetonated WWII bomb. I also learned that I am not the first person to google that. Thanks, Internet!

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New Best Friend (2002)

rachel true, who are you trying to kid?

dawson’s creek’s andie
mia kirshner is a mess
dominique swain’s gay

other highlights:  college “kids” behaving badly because “hey!  it’s college!”,  people run around in desperate need of a bra, and oliver hudson raps.  it’s as awful as you think it is.

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Degrees: “boylorne’s inevitable superstardom” edition

DEGREES: The feature where we use our brushes with celebrity to Kevin Bacon our way to director and noted terrible person, Uwe Boll.

You guys, boylorne is totes famous, 4 rlz.

Here’s why: The White Stripes’ “Under Great White Northern Lights” documents the band’s summer 2007 tour across Canada and contains live concert and off-stage footage. During the tour, the band played a “one-note show” — a very short free concert consisting of just a single note — which appears at the start of the film. The one-note show is featured in the first 30 seconds of the movie:

boylauren at white stripes

Unedited footage, you guys.

Who is that fresh-face, and is not too commercial or catalogue, but evokes high-fashion? Why, it’s boylorne.

Anyway, boylorne was within metres of Jack White, one half of the White Stripes, who recorded “Van Lear Rose” with Loretta Lynn.

Loretta Lynn appeared in “Johnny Cash’s America”, which also featured Snoop Dogg. In this next  clip, Snoop appears more lucid than he does in the entirety of “Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror”.

And Snoop Dogg was featured in “Pauly Shore is Dead”, which also featured Michael Madsen.

And Michael Madsen was in “Bloodrayne”…

… which was directed by…

uwe bollUWE BOLL

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How many?

This many.
  1. 10,000 BC
  2. 24 Hours to Midnight
  3. A Blade in the Dark aka La casa con la scala nel buio
  4. A Cinderella Story
  5. A Haunting in Connecticut
  6. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
  7. Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe
  8. Alienator
  9. Alone in the Dark
  10. Angelfist
  11. Arcade
  12. Bad Girls From Valley High
  13. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
  14. Batman & Robin
  15. Battlefield Earth
  16. Biodome
  17. Black Christmas (2006)
  18. Black Cobra
  19. Black Cobra
  20. Black Cobra 2
  21. Blacula
  22. BloodRayne
  23. Bloodspell aka The Boy from Hell (1988)
  24. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
  25. Brainiac aka El Baron Del Terror!
  26. Brotherhood 3: Young Demons
  27. Bug
  28. Casshan: Robot Hunter
  29. Cat People
  30. Céline: The Movie
  31. Chill Factor
  32. Class of 1984
  33. Class of 1999
  34. Code Hunter
  35. Crocodile (2000)
  36. Crossroads
  37. Crush
  38. Cry_Wolf
  39. Cthulhu (2007)
  40. Cujo
  41. Curse of the Doll People AKA Muñecos Infernales
  42. Curse of the Vampires
  43. Cursed
  44. Cutthroat Island
  45. Darkness (2002)
  46. Darkness Falls
  47. Date with the Dead
  48. Daybreakers
  49. Dead Alive
  50. Deadly Illusion (1987)
  51. Death Machine
  52. Degrees: Sebastian Spence
  53. Diary of the Dead
  54. Domino
  55. Don’t Look in the Basement!
  56. Doomsday
  57. Double Team
  58. Dracula 2000
  59. Drag Me to Hell
  60. Dream Demon
  61. Dream Machine
  62. Elektra
  63. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
  64. Feed
  65. Final Destination
  66. Fire & Ice
  67. First Born
  68. From Beyond
  69. Ghost Rig
  70. Gigli
  71. Ginger Snaps
  72. Gothic
  73. Hands of Steel
  74. Hard Rock Zombies
  75. Hardbodies (1984)
  76. Hatchet for the Honeymoon AKA Il Rosso segno della follia
  77. Hellbent
  78. Hellraiser (1987)
  79. High Kicks
  80. Hot Dog Cops
  81. House of Wax
  82. I Know What You Did Last Summer
  83. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
  84. Invaders From Mars
  85. Invitation to Hell
  86. It’s Complicated (2009)
  87. Jeepers Creepers
  88. Jeepers Creepers 2
  89. Jennifer’s Body
  90. John Carpenter’s Vampires
  91. Kick-Ass (2010)
  92. Kolobos
  93. Lady Dragon (1992)
  94. Laser Mission
  95. Legion
  96. Little Witches
  97. Long Time Dead
  98. Lost Boys: The Tribe
  99. Lost Highway
  100. Lover’s Lane
  101. Macabre
  102. Masterblaster
  103. Mindhunters
  104. Mirrors
  105. Missionary Man
  106. Monaco Forever
  107. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
  108. My Bloody Valentine 3D
  109. New Moon
  110. Night of the Bloody Apes aka La Horripilante bestia humana,
  111. Night of the Cobra Woman (1972)
  112. Night Vision
  113. Nine Lives (2002)
  114. Ninja Champion
  115. Obsessed
  116. Open Graves
  117. Operation Warzone
  118. Orphan
  119. Parasite
  120. Phantasm
  121. Phantasm II
  122. Pieces a.k.a. Mil gritos tiene la noche
  123. Point Break
  124. Pontypool
  125. Pootie Tang
  126. Prey for Rock and Roll
  127. Prom Night
  128. Prom Night 4
  129. Pulse
  130. Pulse 3: Invasion
  131. Python 2
  132. Queen of the Damned
  133. Raiders of the Sun
  134. Red Surf
  135. Reeker
  136. Resident Evil: Apocalypse
  137. Resident Evil: Extinction
  138. Robo Vampire
  139. Saturn 3 (1980)
  140. Scandal in a Small Town
  141. Scarecrow Slayer
  142. Seduced By Evil (1994)
  143. Shadow Hours (2000)
  144. She-Gods of Shark Reef (1958)
  145. Shivers
  146. Shock ‘Em Dead
  147. Silent Hill
  148. Silent Night, Deadly Night
  149. Single White Female
  150. Skinwalkers
  151. Sleepaway Camp
  152. Sleepwalkers
  153. Society
  154. Soul Survivors
  155. Southland Tales
  156. Star Slammer (1987)
  157. Stay Alive
  158. Street Fighter
  159. Supernova
  160. Swamp Women
  161. Swimfan
  162. Tank Girl
  163. Teen Witch
  164. Teenage Caveman
  165. Terror in Paradise
  166. The Breed
  167. The Convent (2000)
  168. The Craft
  169. The Crazies (2010)
  170. The Crow: Wicked Prayer
  171. The Faculty
  172. The Final Destination
  173. The Forsaken
  174. The Gate
  175. The Hidden
  176. The House of the Devil
  177. The House that Bled to Death
  178. The House That Dripped Blood
  179. The Hunger (1983)
  180. The Inheritor (1990)
  181. The Initiation of Sarah
  182. The Keep
  183. The Man From Earth (2007)
  184. The Million Dollar Hotel
  185. The Mist
  186. The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak
  187. The Price of Kissing
  188. The Prophecy
  189. The Prophecy 2
  190. The Prophecy 3: The Ascent
  191. The Room
  192. The Roost
  193. The Stepfather (2009)
  194. the unborn (2009)
  195. The Unholy
  196. The Uninvited
  197. The Watcher (2000)
  198. The Whispering
  199. The Wolfman (2010)
  200. They Shoot Divas, Don’t They?
  201. TNT Jackson
  202. Tooth and Nail (2007)
  203. Transylvania 6-5000
  204. Turbulence 3 (2001)
  205. Twilight
  206. Ultraviolet
  207. Urban Legend
  208. Vamp (1986)
  209. Vampire Raiders Ninja Queen
  210. Vampires: Los Muertos
  211. Vibrations
  212. Wasp Woman (1959)
  213. White Noise 2: The Light
  214. Whiteout (2009)
  215. Wild Side
  216. Wild Things
  217. Wing Commander
  218. Wishcraft
  219. Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies
  220. Witch Academy
  221. Witchboard
  222. Witchboard 3: The Possession
  223. Witchcraft IV
  224. Wrestlemaniac
  225. Xtro II: The Second Encounter
Suggestions? Leave ’em in the comments.
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[Hall of Fame] Kyle Gallner

Kyle-Gallner-kyle-gallner-Kyle-Gallner-kyle-gallner

Kyle Gallner AKA Timmy Everyteen

Congratulations, Kyle Gallner! You are the newest inductee to the 24H2Midnight Hall of Fame!

Kyle has starred in the required three 24H2Midnight movies: A Haunting in Connecticut, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Jennifer’s Body (“A Body of Jennifer’s”?). Kyle owes much to his ability to play squirrelly, neurotic teens. So, if YOUR movie needs a squirrelly, neurotic teen, call Kyle Gallner!

You might know him from: “Veronica Mars”. You haven’t watched “Veronica Mars”? OK, you can borrow my DVDs.

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A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Chock full of teen stereotypes!

pervy gardener!
don’t fall to sleep or you’ll die
give the kids their speed!

teen stereotypes
what is this, the breakfast club?
death is pretty harsh

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[TRAILER] Boondock Saints 2

Bad movie or Bad Movie That’s Actually Good? Boondock Saints 1 was enjoyable, and this sequel has the Julie Benz bonus in full effect — will it be Darla/”Angel”/Rita/”Dexter” good or “Bad Girls of Valley High” dreadful?  Only time will tell!

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Turbulence 3 (2001)

turbulence 3

online, in-flight gig
oh! satanic hijackers!
hack the plane, you guys

See the actress in the YouTube video? If you thought that she was going to have a sexy transformation, then you would be RIGHT. Glasses OFF, hair OUT OF BUN.

Also from the preview, does the guy playing Internet Hacker look familiar to you? We thought it was David Boreanaz. Nope, it’s Mr.-Hey-Aren’t-You-David-Boreanaz? himself, Craig Sheffer. Here’s a side-by-side comparison of the two of them looking like d-bags. BONUS: The gentleman in the middle making that duck-face is Colin Berry, an actor that has shown up on this blog before.

Craig Sheffer David Boreanaz and Colin Berry

Speaking of familiar, we were about halfway through the movie when we realized that shock-rocker/Marilyn-Manson-clone Slade Craven is played by John Mann, frontman of Canadian folk rock band Spirit of the West.

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