shoot some guns and give some ‘tude;
At least the role didn’t go to Tom Cruise, as was originally intended – though imagine him sporting this rather fetching look:
ride your motor bike
quote scripture, beat up bad guys
“do” the widow. yawn.
Seriously, for a movie that had so much going for it, I have no idea how it turned out so terribly. There were explosions, tequila shots, crooked cops, motorcycles, vengeance and DOLPH LUNDGREN, and still this put me to sleep. Maybe it was just too cliche ridden to hold my attention. The highlight by far was this preview:
boylorne: Dolph Lundgren is a man of many talents. Check this out (and wait for 1:15… AND 1:30):
Sporting Southwest styles,
Somers faces crow brujo
and morphs into wolf.
Right?? It doesn’t get much better, gentle viewer. Or does it? Let’s watch:
You have to admit, Somers is one of those actors who presents a really serious performance. Can’t you just feel the psychic vibes on the wind? Well, I guess she had some guidance from sassy spiritual advisor Julie Carmen–actress, psychotherapist, yoga instructor and friend of Suzanne Somers–pictured here with the author of the original book, Jann Arrington Wolcott:
we’re in outer space!
uh, necklaces and boat necks?
not very manly
douchebags play board game
“sexy” chainsaw photoshoot
death by CGI