Tag Archives: based on a true story

Camp Hell (2010)

i learned that if you sin then you will have an asthma attack and a statue of the virgin mary will fall on you.

bible camp!  demons!
it’s just about abstinence
the real sin? FAKE HORROR.

once again, i have no idea where this movie went wrong. the credits were super scary and it was supposedly based on a true story about a bible camp where demons appear to take care of sinners.  i think that’s what this was about anyways, i kind of lost interest about halfway through once i realized that the trailer was a complete tease and everything else was mostly about how if you sin, then demons will attack you and your family. jesse eisenberg is in it for about 5 mintues, i no longer have a crush on andrew mccarthy and if i ever have children, they are never going to bible camp.

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Extraordinary Measures

harrison ford's balls in a jelly jar.

science fights! men cry!
brendan fraser, knock it off!
giant tears cause floods.

a mild suggestive scene.

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A Haunting in Connecticut

ghosts? or substance abuse?

ghosts? or substance abuse?

when raising the dead,
do not forget the eyelids.
whoa! ectoplasm!

this was not that great.
haunting in connecticut?
more like a boring.

are we that simple?
to freak over spec effects?
k-mart movie gore.

and the kiss of death?
that it’s based on real events.
real boring events.

this documentary comes on halloween time like 40 times a day.  this halloween you should totally watch it.

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i hear you make great soup

i hear you make great soup

the worst day ever,
your son and boyfriend both killed,
trashy lingerie.

hospital release,
now you live with a blind man,
and your daughter’s nuts.

you’re totally gross,
every night insatiable,

this is the grossest thing i’ve ever seen.
haiku co-written with maggie.

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