Deadly Illusion (1987)

an epic battle
moustache of truth and justice
shoulderpads of sin

OK, so who IS this tongue-flicking lovely? It’s Vanity (aka Denise Matthews, a former Prince protégé), playing the role of Billy Dee Williams’ cab-drivin’, sass-talkin’ girlfriend. Here is some essential Vanity knowledge:

• Prince chose her to be the lead in an all-girl group that would perform in lingerie and sing sensual songs with sexually-charged lyrics (“Nasty Girl”, “Sex Shooter”, “Wet Dream”, etc.)
• Prince wanted to re-name her “Vagina” (pronounced “Va-Geena”). She was not fussy.
• He settled on the the name “Vanity” and the group became “Vanity 6” (though he wanted to name them “The Hookers”).
• Why is the group named “Vanity 6” when there are only three members? It’s their total number of breasts.
• Eventually, things went sour, and Prince dropped Vanity from the group, and replaced her with Appolonia, and renamed the group “Appolonia 6”.
• Like most former Prince protégés, she’s now an evangelical preacher.

And now, you really need to watch this. We have… about 400 times: