April Fools (2007)

 

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, now with less Brandy

Scream, but in da hood
and with bad rap sequences.
Slow motion killings.

Just so you know: the killer’s nickname is Poop.

Dark Town (2004)

i'm still shocked that boylorne bought this at a yard sale from a grandma.

Compton has vampires
stay away from dad’s thermos
it’s a lost boys trick!

for the best part of this movie, go about 30 seconds into this clip:

Parasite

sadly, my vhs tape was not in 3-D.

slow-motion fighters,
what does the future past hold?
sand and some ray guns.

Made in 1982, and set in 1992 after America was destroyed by a nuclear war, Parasite was billed as “the first futuristic monster movie in 3-D.” From what I remember, there’s a scientist running around a mostly abandoned town with a parasite in his stomach, and another in a weird container. Of course, this container is opened, and the second parasite escapes and wreaks havoc on the lamest gang ever, as well as a landlady that wears too much make up. This movie also features demi moore as a bar wench/lab assistant. According to someone on imdb “Seeing her in her tight shorts made this worth a check.” I think it’s just a really entertaining movie. Laser guns are awesome, ya jerks.

Class of 1984

everyone in this movie is amazing. except for alex p. keaton.

hey! teacher teacher,
your pregnant wife gets gang-raped,
look! michael j. fox!

this movie is actually amazing. you can watch it all on youtube.