Modelli Folli aka Model Madness (2010)

motion editorial sickness

ty-ty’s in film school
so whip your hair in reverse
a top model first

Someone’s Knocking at the Door (2009)

Hallucinations
Starring cheap Keanu Reeves.
So much dicky-bird.

This “grind-house throwback” was actually pretty disturbing, especially because of the intense scenes of equal opportunity rape and slaughter. Luckily, it was all just a dream!

Prey for Rock and Roll

new york times loved this.
just paint my belly baby.
marc blucas says “fuck”.

A Cinderella Story

updated for teens.
always read your texts out loud.
duff is faux fugly.

Lady Dragon (1992)

Rothrock is our hero!

Cynthia Rothrock
you are a Lady Dragon.
So fuck up some men!

Treason or magic?
Beat your slutty nemesis!
Now, shoulder shimmy.

Note: For fashion alone, this trailer is worth watching.

Sleepaway Camp

"Have a KILLER summer!", "Camp can be MURDER!", etc. etc.

watch out, dumb children.
the moral of the story?
teen horniness kills

Date with the Dead

Breaking up has never been so terrible

A local short film!
Oh, Andy Jones, we love you!
Hot zombie action.

a solid effort
good acting by the deceased
next time? more zombies

A Blade in the Dark aka La casa con la scala nel buio

kleenex ain't gonna clean that up

girl in the closet
a weave in the chicken wire
typical katia

is this your weapon?
an exacto-knife? puleeze.
retract blade slowly.

ok vacant nerds, this movie is actually terrifying. you can watch it on youtube.

Gigli

It's turkey time. Gobble, gobble.

here, j-lo plays gay
converted by ben affleck:
matt damon’s true love