Tag Archives: mustache

Runaway (1987)

really good shoulder pads.

tom selleck, head nerd
cops fix computer problems
runaway robots

Tom Selleck Kirstie Alley

Battle of the Network Stars

boylorne: Back when she was on “Cheers”, I had a crush on Kirstie Alley. She wore blouses and was insolent. It was amazing.

Cynthia Rhodes

Officer Karen Thompson (Cynthia Rhodes) hopes to get moustached by Tom Selleck

Bonus facts about Cynthia Rhodes! She starred in a Toto video! She is Rosanna! That is her slinking around a fence and swinging around a stop sign. She is also married to Richard Marx and at one point sang for Animotion (but this was post-“Obsession”, so it’s not as awesome as it could be). Either way, nice work Cynthia Rhodes! Richard Marx probably sings this and thinks about you!

(this was my song for a dance number in gym class in the second grade. i think it involved forward rolls and ribbons on a stick.)

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Deadly Illusion (1987)

deadly illusion

an epic battle
moustache of truth and justice
shoulderpads of sin

OK, so who IS this tongue-flicking lovely? It’s Vanity (aka Denise Matthews, a former Prince protégé), playing the role of Billy Dee Williams’ cab-drivin’, sass-talkin’ girlfriend. Here is some essential Vanity knowledge:

  • Prince chose her to be the lead in an all-girl group that would perform in lingerie and sing sensual songs with sexually-charged lyrics (“Nasty Girl”, “Sex Shooter”, “Wet Dream”, etc.)
  • Prince wanted to re-name her “Vagina” (pronounced “Va-Geena”). She was not fussy.
  • He settled on the the name “Vanity” and the group became “Vanity 6” (though he wanted to name them “The Hookers”).
  • Why is the group named “Vanity 6” when there are only three members? It’s their total number of breasts.
  • Eventually, things went sour, and Prince dropped Vanity from the group, and replaced her with Appolonia, and renamed the group “Appolonia 6”.
  • Like most former Prince protégés, she’s now an evangelical preacher.

And now, you really need to watch this. We have… about 400 times:

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Zoom in on: Marc Blucas’ moustache

What movie?: Prey for Rock and Roll (2003)
What are we zooming in on?: Marc Blucas’ moustache
How did we react?: Six minutes of silent horror, disgust

Prey for Rock and Roll Marc Blucas

Prey for Rock and Roll Marc Blucas

Prey for Rock and Roll Marc Blucas

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