Terror in Paradise

"Oh, the terror is causing me to clutch this tiny towel even closer to my bare flesh!"

terrorists beware.
they’re going to stop you somehow.
horny tennis pros.

Quotable quote #1
Terrorist (upon spotting our heroes): It’s some young stud, and a broad with the hots.

Quotable quote #2
Hero: What happened to you?
Heroine: They raped me.
Hero: I’LL KILL THEM!
Heroine: I already did.
Hero: I want you to always be part of my life.

Quotable quote #3:
Token black terrorist on squad of multicultural terrorists: Don’t jazz me!

Best scene:
Before the finale, one terrorist, in memory of his fallen terrorist pals, sheds a single tear.

Black Cobra

bad-ass detective.
doesn’t make a lot of sense.
you’ve been blaxploited!

Choice quotes from “Black Cobra”:

The Chief (bloody and battered after thugs kidnap his daughter): If only I was twenty-five years younger…!
Black Cobra: If you were twenty-five years younger, you would not have a daughter.

Later…

The Chief (who is reluctant to let Black Cobra on the case of his missing daughter): I know why you’re doing this. It’s because it’s my daughter, isn’t it?
Black Cobra: I’m not doing it for you. I’m just doing it. I would do it even if it were Santa Claus’ daughter.

Note: This video gets good around the 1:00 mark.