Tag Archives: remake

Fright Night (1985)

being a vampire gives you ladyhands.

hey, you little snoop
what is outside your window?
a coffin cockblock

apparently they’re filming a re-make of this starring colin farrell as the vampire, with christopher mintz-plasse (mclovin!) and david tennant in the other starring roles. my mind is blown.

woah.

DON’T FUCK IT UP.

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The Hitcher (2007)

I WANT TO DIE.

spring break!  road trip!  woo!
hey assholes, stay together!
dave matthews love scene

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Leatherface is mega creepy.

Okay, Michael Bay,
we get the point already:
remake everything.

What is TCM really inspired by? Apparently, Leatherface is based on real-life creepazoid Ed Gein, and the events on any number of urban legends involving teenagers, vans, drugs and sex.

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A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Chock full of teen stereotypes!

pervy gardener!
don’t fall to sleep or you’ll die
give the kids their speed!

teen stereotypes
what is this, the breakfast club?
death is pretty harsh

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The Stepfather (2009)

penn badgley in a coma i know, i know it's serious

mom, your beau’s a creep
your kids will disappoint him
even dan humphrey

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The Crazies (2010)

i'll have the trucker's special, and a pyramid of monster energy drinks.

romero re-make
hold your belly and run “pregs”
hang out at irving

SKINNIEST PREGNANT LADY EVER.  and seriously, the truck stop looks exactly like an irving restaurant.  all that’s missing is the spinning wire rack of sunglasses and buddy wasisname cassette tapes.

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House of Wax

i saw this three years ago and have no desire to ever see it again.

i saw this three years ago and have no desire to ever see it again.

oh no! vincent price!
replaced by hilton & co.
it’s people! not wax!!!!

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Prom Night

that thing you do? kill everybody.

that thing you do? oh, kill everybody.

boring kids get killed
what is your teenage drama?
prom is deadly, b’ys.

IDRIS ELBA! HALL OF FAME!

 

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My Bloody Valentine 3D

Nothing says date movie like motion sickness

Nothing says date movie like motion sickness

To my Valentine:
WB stars (as teens??)
and some 3D shit.

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