Tag Archives: uwe boll

Degrees: “boylorne’s inevitable superstardom” edition

DEGREES: The feature where we use our brushes with celebrity to Kevin Bacon our way to director and noted terrible person, Uwe Boll.

You guys, boylorne is totes famous, 4 rlz.

Here’s why: The White Stripes’ “Under Great White Northern Lights” documents the band’s summer 2007 tour across Canada and contains live concert and off-stage footage. During the tour, the band played a “one-note show” — a very short free concert consisting of just a single note — which appears at the start of the film. The one-note show is featured in the first 30 seconds of the movie:

boylauren at white stripes

Unedited footage, you guys.

Who is that fresh-face, and is not too commercial or catalogue, but evokes high-fashion? Why, it’s boylorne.

Anyway, boylorne was within metres of Jack White, one half of the White Stripes, who recorded “Van Lear Rose” with Loretta Lynn.

Loretta Lynn appeared in “Johnny Cash’s America”, which also featured Snoop Dogg. In this next  clip, Snoop appears more lucid than he does in the entirety of “Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror”.

And Snoop Dogg was featured in “Pauly Shore is Dead”, which also featured Michael Madsen.

And Michael Madsen was in “Bloodrayne”…

… which was directed by…

uwe bollUWE BOLL

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Degrees: Top Model edition

Degrees – Anybody can be a few steps from Kevin Bacon, but you have to be pretty famous (like us) to be this close to German B-movie schlockmeister and general bad human Uwe Boll. In this feature, we examine the many ways that we are connected to Uwe Boll.

This one starts with another former housemate:

housemate’s sister is Rebeccah, of Canada’s Next Top Model, Cycle 2.

Smiling with her eyes?

Smiling with her eyes? Only Tyra knows for sure!

Canada’s Next Top Model is produced by…

This is my own fault for Googling "Tyra Banks scary"

This is my own fault for Googling "Tyra Banks scary"

Tyra hosted the 2nd Annual Vibe awards with B-movie all-star LL Cool J.

Not surprisingly, people were stabbed shortly after.

Not surprisingly, people were stabbed shortly after.

LL Cool J starred with Michelle Rodriguez in the 2003 film, “S.W.A.T.”, and Michelle Rodriguez was in the vampire swords-and-sorcery film “BloodRayne”, which we covered here before.

Pouty. Always pouty.

Pouty. Always pouty.

And, of course, “BloodRayne” was directed by this guy:

Uwe Boll: Bad for humans.

Uwe Boll: Bad for humans.

NOTE: When filming “BloodRayne” in Western Europe, Uwe Boll decided that he did not want to pay the actresses hired to play prostitutes, so he got rid of the actresses and got real prostitutes to play prostitutes. Because they were cheaper.

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Degrees: Degrassi

This one starts with boylorne’s former housemate.

housemate is the cousin of Amanda Stepto.

Moussed within an inch of her life, daily.

Moussed within an inch of her life, daily.

Amanda Stepto starred as Spike in the “Degrassi” series of television programs.

Romance?

Romance?

Billy Parrott played Shane McKay, the father of Spike’s baby, who took LSD and jumped off a bridge.

Filmed in Toronto.

Filmed in Toronto.

In “Resident Evil: Apocalypse”, Billy Parrott played “Security Guard”. Who says there aren’t good roles for Canadian actors?

Zack Ward: This guy.

Zack Ward: This guy.

“Resident Evil: Apocalypse” also featured Zack Ward, who starred in the ugh-fest “Postal”…

He hates you.

He hates you.

…which was directed by Uwe Boll.

ALTERNATE ROUTE

Uwe Boll -> “Postal” -> Zack Ward -> The 1997 stock-car racing drama “Fast Track” -> Anais Granofsky who played aspiring movie director Lucy Fernandez on “Degrassi” -> Amanda Stepto – housemate -> boylorne

Remember that episode of “Degrassi” where Lucy makes a horror movie? I do.

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