nothing says "christmas" like one piece of garland taped to the wall
santa clauses die!
everyone’s eyes are smiling
what a crappy gift
clearly our new year’s resolution was not to update the blog more frequently!
orange diapers
erection studies,
not as sexy as you’d think.
dicky bird covers.
poor sean connery!
what have they done to james bond?
wear a wedding dress.
Wear a wedding dress, indeed.
Who wore it better?
photocredit: here
If only there were trolls in this movie
corn on the cob slut
vegetarian goblins
baloney sandwich!
what the fuck is in activia?
marshmallow cocaine
agent rutherford’s new job?
“ice cream saboteur”
On a recent return trip to the greatest depository of VHS on the Eastern seaboard, I picked up sixteen choice films for reviewing/merry-making. Now, they have a new home on my so-good Wal-Mart particle board bookcase.
Classing up the place.
Before they were ready to display, the tapes had to be taken out of their hard plastic VHS cases (more on that later), while the cardboard movie boxes were shucked from their plastic dust jackets. The display boxes had spent the past twenty plus years on the shelf, soaking up the sunlight and carbon dioxide produced by local mouthbreathers.
Personally, I think it looks like it's made of the ectoplasm from "A Haunting in Connecticut".
Meanwhile, the tapes themselves were out in the cool, dark storage room, like so many polypropylene sarcophagi.
Left: A stack of VHS cases. Right: A shapely leg.
This leaves me to question: What am I going to do with these VHS cases? They don’t seem to be recyclable. I suppose I could go to craftster.org, and find out how to make some sort of re-purposed jewellery box? Or perhaps a twee endtable to sell on Etsy? Suggestions are welcome.
Edit: The films are Blown Away, Programmed to Kill, Trancers 3, Siesta, April Fool’s Day, Lady Dragon 2, Tiger Claws 2, Who is Cletus Tout?, Brenda Starr, Never Too Young to Die, Alien Intruder, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Deadlock, Prayer of the Rollerboys, and Commando Squad.
PHALLIC.
we’re in outer space!
uh, necklaces and boat necks?
not very manly
GENE SIMMONS
hunky george clooney
guns n’roses belly top
cocaine blow job
This was an early 90’s surfer flick featuring a roseanne-era clooney, michelle pfeiffer’s little sister dedee, and gene simmons. i’m pretty sure it’s about some sort of set-up involving a drug deal, and then revenge, but i sort of stopped paying a lot of attention to the plot. my either way, it’s an entertaining movie to watch at least once, if only for the drug addled bromance of atilla and remar.
Light as a feather, stiff as a board x like 100,000,000
teen girls have powers
repeat things ad nauseum
and throw hissy fits
The 2009 horror-thriller The House of the Devil is coming to DVD and Blu-ray on February 2, 2010, and the promo item is the heights of awesome ridiculousness.
Photo credit: http://www.dreadcentral.com
Check out the for-real VHS release of the film, complete with never-fit-on-your-shelf-properly clamshell case. Along with the pitch-perfect art, we think it was taken directly from the Eighties, most likely through the use of portals.
PUNISH!!!
santa raped his mom
boy forced to wear santa suit
uh, can you blame him?
