Tag Archives: werewolves

Never Cry Werewolf (2008)

PETTER STEBBINGS, YOU PLAYED A TEEN IN 1993, STOP HANGING AROUND HIGH SCHOOLS.

like oz and willow
with a creepy age difference
and kevin sorbo

Points of Interest:

Nina Dobrev is really into playing characters that look like the old timey beloved of a monster. I’ve only seen her in two things, and in both she is the object of affection of either a werewolf or a vampire that carries around a picture of the old-timey look-a-like lover.

Melissa from Never Cry Werewolf

Katherine from The Vampire Diaries

Apparently when you are bitten by a werewolf you go through an unsexy transformation and turn into this unfortunate thing:

UNSEXY!

UNFORTUNATE!

And finally, this:

KEVIN SORBO GUSSIED UP LIKE SOME INDIANA JONES CROCODILE HUNTER BEING CHASED BY AND UNFORTUNATE HALF WEREWOLF!

This is not a good movie by any means, but if it comes on TV, you could probably leave it on and be entertained.

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New Moon

an assault on the senses.

edward cullen’s back
what a fucking dickburger
NO GLITTERDICK! NOOOOOOO!


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The Wolfman (2010)

anthony hopkins! get yourself out of the fireplace!

it’s all your dad’s fault
so “ah-wooo” like shakira
prance about the moors

BONUS!!!!!!

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Skinwalkers

 

Jason Behr-wolf

Jason Behr-wolf

coffee cup drama
boy hits puberty, breaks curse
a werewolf shoot-out

this was surprisingly good. there was a total lost boys rip-off part at the end, which i loved. plus! tom jackson, and elias koteas. COME ON.

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